521. More times than not, you will be judged by your shoes.
(Source: rulesformyunbornson)
(Source: rulesformyunbornson)
Her: So are you dating Olivia Wilde yet or what?
Me: Not yet. No time to pursue her properly.
Her: Quite the gentleman, I see.
Me: “No time to pursue her properly” means I haven’t been able to reup my rufies.
My best friend that’s a girl is undeniably incredible. Let’s call her Alala, to keep it in the Greek deity family (she picked the name because it’s the personification of the female war cry. And she loves a solid war cry.) She and I were out in Los Angeles together recently and after one late night of revelry and some slight debauchery, the group of five of us retreated to her hotel room where we proceeded to pour her entire mini bar down our throats before we took to her balcony overlooking a main LA street. That’s when shit turned awesome.
The balcony was situated just above and beside a major club, with another popular bar a stone’s throw down the road. Both were approaching closing time, so the foot traffic below our drunken perch was steady. Spurred on by her natural bubbly-ness, which only intensifies with the addition of liquor – and a little encouragement from us, Alala decided to bestow gifts upon passersby in the form of hysterical conversations. And the occasional drink mixer pouch or magazine. (Yep, she tossed both down at various points.)
The first group was a dud; just a gaggle of bros who wanted to come up and hang out. But they didn’t have much of a problem standing on the street shouting up to a group of strangers at 3am, which was all the reassurance Alala needed. Down the street, a t-shirt clad man was staggering from the bar across the wide street while traffic whizzed by him with alarming closeness, horns blaring. “That boy is going to die,” Alala said, matter-of-factly in between puffs on her cigarette. Amazingly, he made it to our side of the street and just before he reached us, Alala reached out to him.
“Sir,” she yelled in a tone of mock seriousness. “You nearly were killed! You need to be more careful.” Which prompted the man to respond that he was perfectly fine. Which led to his attempting to show us just how “fine” he was by walking back out into the middle of the four-lane street and performing a backwards handstand of sorts. Which led to us screaming that he actually was going to meet his demise unless he came back to the sidewalk. Which led to him eventually obliging.
After all the melancholy, after all the crap and the agony of death that beloved characters went through, after all the depression awakened in me the last few episodes, I am reminded why I love this show. That was the greatest clash of sword and shield I have seen in my 21 years of life. CAPUA!!!!!!! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED????!!!!!!!